


One More Taste Of Your Lips Just To Bring Me Back

by julyseok



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and sad, Break up sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-11 22:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11723973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julyseok/pseuds/julyseok
Summary: The moment in between getting your heart broken and the aftermath of a break-up. Wonwoo falls out of love with Mingyu. Mingyu wants him to love him goodbye.(But the pain remains the same)





	One More Taste Of Your Lips Just To Bring Me Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily inspired by Love You Goodbye by One Direction. As always, I hope you enjoy this piece! Every kudos and comment is also dearly appreciated ♡
> 
> Twitter: @btsvernons

"I'm breaking up with you, Mingyu."

He stops mixing the bowl filled with butter and sugar, blinking attentively at the whisk that slipped out of his fingers, landing on the floor. The statement had threw him off guard, causing him to draw a sharp breath before plucking the courage he needed to turn his head to look at his boyfriend. 

"What?" He mutters in a thin voice, silently begging the other to laugh at him as he reveals that it was just a joke.

Wonwoo stays at his position for a few seconds. He has both of his hands placed on the kitchen counter, fingers lacing with his right thumb resting on his left's. He has a glowing complexion - his usual pale skin gaining more color since summer begun. He admits that his statement is rather shocking so he tries again, this time slower, emphasizing on each syllable.

"I said", he repeats, hesitating for a second before sitting up straighter, "I'm breaking up with you."

Mingyu remains stoic with his eyes glued to the floor, the whisk on the floor left unattended. He regains his consciousness in a minute, silently plucking off the apron around the neck, setting it on the kitchen stool. Wonwoo could see him gulping - his Adam's apple bobbing with each swallow. Mingyu slowly lifts his gaze to look at Wonwoo. The other man is staring back at him with a fragile expression.

"Did I do something wrong?" Mingyu's voice trembles, void of the usual tone of glee that was once music to Wonwoo's ears. His eyelids flutter shut for a moment and when they open again, there are tears rolling down his face and it startles Wonwoo.

"No, Mingyu, no." Wonwoo explains in a heavy breath, his own chest pumping heavily even though he had already practiced this two nights before. A wave of guilt washes over Wonwoo when he realizes Mingyu is still standing in front of him in a childlike figure - clasping his hands in front of his legs as if he had committed a mistake, with tears watering past his pretty cheekbones. Wonwoo stays rooted at his stool.

"It's not you, I promise." Wonwoo clarifies apologetically. "It's just - this isn't something that I want anymore, Gyu."

"I'll be better." Mingyu chokes out a sob, mixed emotions of sadness and dread filling in every fiber of his body at the thought of Wonwoo leaving his side. He walks up to Wonwoo abruptly as if to mean what he says, eyes focusing on his boyfriend's as he thrusts out his palm to touch Wonwoo's arm. "I'll work harder to make you happy."

Wonwoo allows Mingyu to halt the flow of his tears before he stands up, the leg of the stool scratching the floor tile noisily, and tears off Mingyu's grip, slowly and achingly, but firmly. Mingyu's breath are uneven again and although he is significantly taller than Wonwoo, he somehow feels very, very small under his boyfriend's sympathetic gaze.

"Mingyu-ah", Wonwoo whispers tenderly. Mingyu is now full-on crying, his shoulders are shaking frantically. Mingyu has always been a loud crier, with bile rising in his throat and snot clogging his nose, but he was never this broken. Wonwoo instinctively reaches out to caress his bicep reassuringly. However, his touch feels so cold to Mingyu, and that makes him sob harder.

"I told you that it's not because of you. It's me, Mingyu. I realized that I can't do commitments. I'm sorry for telling you this too late." Wonwoo apologizes to the younger, feeling an ache swelling around his chest. He feels overwhelmed too of course, even though it hasn't been a year since they dated, but they have been friends since college. Mingyu had always been a great lover. He was not only handsome and charming, but willingly tolerated with Wonwoo's polar opposite personality. He remembers the first time he confessed to Mingyu, a few hours into celebration after their A-Levels exams when they walked out from a crowded karaoke that their circle of friends had been pestering to go since the beginnning of their finals. They were both a little tipsy from the beer, nevertheless still awake and Mingyu had the brightest eyes underneath the moonlight. It was near winter and Mingyu's clothing were too thin, so Wonwoo shrugged off his over-sized jacket and draped it across his shoulders.

_"Thanks, hyung." Mingyu says with a lopsided grin, leaning further into the railing, eyes gazing aimlessly at the cars that pass below them before shuffling closer to Wonwoo, slightly bending his legs to be at the elder's height. "You're so warm."_

_"I get that a lot." Wonwoo laughs wholeheartedly. He hesitatingly stretches his right arm to pull Mingyu's body closer to him, feeling giddy when Mingyu complies the action by snuggling his head on Wonwoo's neck. Wonwoo gulps and he feels his breathing goes unsteady when Mingyu sighs, his breath fanning the skin near his ear._

_"Mingyu." Wonwoo breathes out. He hadn't plan on confessing so soon but the timing feels right. It feels as if they are the only one in the world right now, despite the blurring noises they could hear once in a while when the karaoke door opens._

_"Hm?"_

_"I like you. I- I want to take you out, if that's okay with you."_

_Mingyu jumps immediately from Wonwoo's arms, surprise and adoration written all over his face as his jaw slacks. The corner of his mouth twitches up in interest. "You mean that?"_

_Wonwoo could hear his pulse taking a notch higher in his ears and his heart beating rapidly in his rib-cage as Mingyu inches closer, fluttering his eyelashes and rolling his bottom lip between his teeth, anticipating Wonwoo's answer._

_"Of course." That was all Wonwoo could manage out before Mingyu grabs his face between his palms and closes the distance between them._

That was the first kiss they shared and the memory is burned at the back of Wonwoo's head even if he would try to forget. There had been many more kisses after that, leading to more intimate acts in the span of their ten months relationship, but Wonwoo is only completely mesmerized by the linger of Mingyu's soft lips from that night. As months pass, sometimes he has to remind himself feverishly of what it felt like to have Mingyu pressed shyly against his body that night, so he could kiss Mingyu back again and again with the same imitated passion. Even if he didn't feel like it.

Wonwoo has been so wrapped up in his own train of thoughts that he doesn't realize Mingyu finding the same comfort like he did that night in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped loosely around Wonwoo's waist as he breathes deeply. Wonwoo can smell his aftershave mixed with his sea-salt scented cologne.

"I'm sorry." Wonwoo says it again. He screws his eyes shut, bringing a small palm to gently pat Mingyu's back hopefully in a reassuring manner. He's made his mind on his decision but he never once wants to bring agony or pain to Mingyu. The younger has been nothing but sweet the entire time, and deserves nothing less.

Mingyu is overwhelmed with despair and confusion, however he nods in understatement, inhaling Wonwoo's scent deeply before gently peeling himself off his arms. He doesn't dare to look at the elder, afraid that his eyes would threaten to spill more tears if he does, so he mindlessly blinks at his shoes, the kitchen counter, and absolutely anywhere else but Wonwoo's face.

Mingyu understands, even though he doesn't. With each passing second of Wonwoo disappearing into the room, feet tapping quietly like a ghost, packing his belongings that are scattered all around the bedroom in a clockwise rotation as if he had rehearsed this very moment, returning all of Mingyu's sweaters when they already smell like him instead - to Wonwoo walking out to the hall to meet him, dragging the same luggage he brought into their apartment when they first moved in together; Mingyu tries to understand. 

_We belong to each other_ , is what Mingyu wants to say. They have seen each other stark naked in four in the morning, drunk out of their minds with the alcohol they could sometimes afford, and also in two in the afternoon when sunlight pours in from the window, shining on every inch of Wonwoo's beautiful skin on the bed that Mingyu makes sure he captures with his heart. They have both stripped down to bones for each other to see - Mingyu learns deep dark secrets of the quieter male every single time he cries, and Wonwoo discovers a new side of Mingyu that the doesn't really show to public, not even to his closest friends.

There is a lot to forgo, but maybe that's why Wonwoo wants to leave. Before he finds himself sucked into this loop of endless commitments.

"Where will you stay?" Mingyu ends up asking. He feels a piercing sensation in his chest seeing Wonwoo standing a few feet in front of him, wearing a creased shirt, with his round-shaped glasses instead of his transparent contacts.

"At my parents'." Wonwoo replies with a small smile, albeit his voice is shaky. He takes two steps forward and envelops Mingyu into a warm hug - his shorter physique bringing a new wave of ache to Mingyu. _This is it_ , Mingyu thinks aloud. He grits his teeth and closes his eyes tightly to stop the tears from falling. Mingyu feels a hand trailing softly on his backbone. He's suddenly hit with an epiphany - he can't let Wonwoo go. At least, not just yet.

"Are we friends?" Mingyu raises a risky question before Wonwoo releases his arms from Mingyu's figure. 

"Of course we are." Wonwoo hums, nodding. He still has his palms pressed on Mingyu's waist, and it sends electric up and down Mingyu's spine. 

"Then can you do me a favor, as a friend?"

Wonwoo gazes at him in concern, eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion, as he nods again. "What is it?"

There's a ball of weight sitting in Mingyu's throat. He inhales shakily, mustering all the confidence he has left which is not a lot, before looking at Wonwoo straight in the eye. The eye contact has never overwhelmed Mingyu so much. "Can you love me one last time before you go?"

Wonwoo lets the words sink in. He tries to guess if there's a hidden message behind it but it was a clear, innocent question. He expected nothing less sentimental from Mingyu, however, his lips still quiver in hesitance. "Mingyu, I don't think that's a -"

" _Please_." Mingyu whispers brokenly, eyes wide open as fresh tears run down his cheeks shamelessly. "I need this. Just one more time. I want to remember." Mingyu is already starting to beg him, pressing his forehead hotly against Wonwoo's and intertwining their fingers, making it sound so romantic.

Wonwoo should leave before he does more damage or worse, cause more pain to Mingyu. He wants to just peck the younger's forehead goodbye, but Mingyu is persistent, and Wonwoo has always been soft for Mingyu since the first day knowing him. He finds himself leaning in slowly and kissing Mingyu at the corner of his mouth, before the younger turns his head and captures his lips in a kiss.

There's nothing to be proud of about breaking your significant other's heart and then kissing them again as if nothing just happened, peeling their clothes layer by layer and touching their skin intimately, and hearing the noises they make so close to your ear like a prayer, like you once did when you were in love with them. It feels all sorts of wrong but it also feels right, because Wonwoo had memorized Mingyu's skin and he knows it like the back of his hand about where Mingyu likes to be held, to be bit, to be treated a little rougher than other areas. There's a ringing in Wonwoo's ears and it's loud - it's warning him to stop. Before he could weigh the consequences of his decision, Mingyu locks his legs around Wonwoo's waist, mouth sucking at the sensitive skin below Wonwoo's ear. Wonwoo groans, and holds the back of Mingyu's thighs to keep him stable, fingers scratching the skin outside the thick fabric of his jeans.

Wonwoo trudges slowly to the bedroom with Mingyu wrapped around his figure, and when he glances over Mingyu's shoulder to see the half vacant room, he feels a pool of dread and guilt growing at the pit of his stomach. He shuts his eyes harshly and pushes the thoughts away. He kicks the bedroom door close with the back of his feet before pinning Mingyu against it, the younger releasing a short gasp at the sudden action, and kissing his face feverishly again with both his hands rubbing smoothly at the skin above Mingyu's jeans. Wonwoo could feel himself getting hard, it's almost impossible not to with the growing pace they're set in.

"Tell me what you want, Gyu." Wonwoo murmurs against Mingyu's lips that are now slick with spit. Mingyu is stunning, he had always been beautiful, his eyes are dark and laden with the heightened sensual feelings, and he pulls Wonwoo closer by his belt loop to brush both their bulges against each other, causing Wonwoo to mewl despite the friction.

"Fuck my mouth first." Mingyu tells him in a second, and immediately drops his knees to the ground before Wonwoo could even register his words. Wonwoo's breath is uneven and he feels himself getting dizzier watching Mingyu work his fly open and pull his jeans down to his thighs. He desperately wants to tell Mingyu that it's not right, none of this is right, but Mingyu is already bobbing his head up and down his length. He too has a vivid memory of Wonwoo's preferences.

"Shit." Curses spill out of Wonwoo's mouth as Mingyu continues. He focuses more on the head of Wonwoo's cock, exactly how the elder likes, and uses his right hand to cover the part he can't swallow. Wonwoo feels high on the feeling, and he cards his fingers through Mingyu's soft bangs with one hand and cupping his cheek with another, murmuring words of encouragement despite the hollow still settling in his chest. Mingyu dips his nails harshly behind Wonwoo's thighs and swallows deeper till Wonwoo could feel himself hitting the back of Mingyu's throat. He exhales shakily, looking down at Mingyu's eyes that are smudged with tears, but Mingyu does not stop and all these months spent together let Wonwoo understand that this same gaze means _more, I want it harder_. Mingyu's eyes are wide in anticipation as he hums around Wonwoo's cock.

The guilt crawls deeper into Wonwoo's bones when he grips Mingyu's hair and starts snapping his hips into the younger's mouth. He chokes out a sob for the first time that day, beads of perspiration forming on his hairline, and Mingyu is still digging his nails into Wonwoo's thighs so he goes faster, rougher, with a whole new feeling of sorrow building in his chest, until he feels his orgasm coming. He taps on Mingyu's shoulder to signal him, but the younger pays no attention and swallows till the last drip of his cum.

Wonwoo slumps back onto the wall, hastily wiping a tear that managed to escape from his eye. He breathes heavily, trying to arrange his thoughts properly. It all flies out of the window once again when he hears a familiar sob coming from Mingyu, followed by, "Wonwoo, can you sleep with me?"

The younger male looks up at Wonwoo, hair all messy and dried tears staining his cheeks. "I want to feel you one last time."

Wonwoo knows he shouldn't. But he still gives in.

At what cost, he wasn't sure. Because he could hear Mingyu sobbing softly underneath him even though he locks his ankles on Wonwoo's back, refusing to let Wonwoo stop. Mingyu is barely even hard, his own cock left red and swollen on his belly. Wonwoo burrows his face into Mingyu's neck, earning a flinch from the younger, and he whispers sweet nothings to Mingyu as he thrusts in and out of his hole. He tries to go slow, until Mingyu bites his shoulder, signaling him to be rougher. It stirs a bigger feeling of guilt when Wonwoo thrusts deeper and harsher, even their bed frame is hitting against the wall with each sloppy snap of his hip, and it feels like Mingyu is physically hurting because he's downright _crying_ as his tight walls clench around Wonwoo but he keeps telling the elder to _keep going, don't stop_ and Wonwoo doesn't know what else to do but to bite his bottom lip to drown his sounds and comply.

Wonwoo hides his face in the sheets when he cums, trying his hardest to muffle his cries. It's terrifying how the ache in his chest is spreading slowly across his body like a virus because now it hurts everywhere. He breathes out shakily, fatigue starting to seep through his bones, creating a nauseating mix together with the guilt and dread. The room reeks of sweat, sex and regret. 

Wonwoo feels lean digits running up and down the nape of his neck, sending a soothing _you did good_ message that he's familiar with. His stomach churns. He turns to face Mingyu but the latter is already rolling his body to the other side, pulling the covers to his chest as he fists it tightly, not sparing Wonwoo a second glance. 

The reaction hits Wonwoo harder than it should. His shoulders slump in sudden sadness and exhaustion because it hurts, feels like he's being torn apart at the seams, or worse, it feels like he had lost Mingyu for good. He had wanted a mutual break up and simultaneously steer their friendship into a favorable direction. The waves of guilt and remorse are still storming in Wonwoo and they are not subsiding any sooner, as he still inhales the scent of their after-sex and the puddle of tears are still very much visible next to Mingyu's limp body, staining the once clean, white sheets. Wonwoo sits up on the bed and collects all article of clothing that was sinfully peeled of his body and tossed around with trembling fingers. 

Wonwoo's eyes wander aimlessly in the room, eyeing all four corners that were once filled with his and Mingyu's presence, day and night. This was the first place they rented and stayed together, after moving out from their ratty college dorm, and while his friends would beg to differ, Wonwoo had actually found a home in Mingyu. He loved it for the first few months. They would prepare meals together in the kitchen with Mingyu hugging him around the waist from the back, humming in the shower as they scrub each other's hair when they have time to relax. They would fuck on the couch, on the bathroom floor, on the hall carpet until Mingyu's skin burns. But this is before realizing domestic isn't something Wonwoo could run with for a long, long time. He had tried to repel his thoughts on building towards a break up, however, the weight in his chest grows bigger each day and he finds the load he buried within himself pouring out like coffee overflowing out of a cup. He feels suffocated.

"Mingyu?" Wonwoo calls out softly. The night is approaching, he could tell from the way the sunlight withdraws back to the sky from pouring through the glass windows. He tries to make out Mingyu's figure in the dark, the younger still has his hand draped over the covers, and another tucked in comfortably under his pillow. His chest is heaving in a regular pattern, breathing is steady compared to before, so Wonwoo figures he has either fallen asleep or decided to ignore him without uttering a single word of goodbye.

Wonwoo figures he deserves to be treated cold and harsh by Mingyu, as he taps his feet quietly out from the door, dragging his luggage across the wooden floor and lets himself out of the apartment. A sense of grief fills the void of his heart when he drops the keys in the bowl next to the door before leaving, as if he's sealing off a contract of their relationship. Despite having mulled over the decision for nearly a month, Wonwoo can't deny that it brings a brand new feeling of melancholy to his chest when he hails a taxi down the road and looks at their apartment unit behind the windows, rain droplets smearing the screen. Even the sky is crying for them.

Hues of yellow and red illuminating from the streets lamps and traffic lights seep into Mingyu's room as he stares out of the window, fingers grasping on the metal railing, itching to just reach out to the taxi Wonwoo is in. He eyes the car as it makes its way down the street, and Wonwoo disappears for good.

Mingyu feels infinitely older now, and more exhausted, with a new batch of tears prickling down his cheekbones and his skin is bruised with the bites Wonwoo left on him, painful and intoxicating at the same time. He traces the marks with the tips of his fingers, closing his eyes and feeling every sensation that spreads over his body like a wildfire, trying to store this last memory of having Wonwoo on his body.

The fatigue is taking a toll on his body and he's tempted to just lay back in bed without showering and sleep away the sadness, however a note on his bedside table catches his eye. Mingyu's heart sinks because _no_ , he doesn't want their relationship to have an ending like this – with the protagonist breaking his heart and making it seem like it was something ought to be done, and it's something beautiful. It's not.

Mingyu reads off the paper anyway. It's short and simple, because Wonwoo is never one to be a love letter kind of person. He's more of a get-to-the-point lover, a clear headed man, and a fast decision maker. He sets emotions aside when he wants to set things right. And apparently he's still all of that when he breaks up with Mingyu.

 _Mingyu_ ,

_I'm not sure when you'd ever read this note but when you do, I don't think I have anything else to say except that I'm sorry. I'm writing this in June as you're in the shower, and it's late afternoon and the guilt has never felt bigger._

_I hope I had given you a good explanation before your read this, and maybe before leaving for good. You're wonderful, Mingyu. Even if my feelings towards you have changed, you're still the same to me – funny, kind and beautiful. Perhaps I really am stupid, for wanting to let this go. You deserve someone better, Mingyu, or at least someone who is much more in love with you with every second of their life._

_I'm sorry for disappointing you and if you're reading this many more months after June, I admit that I'm a coward and a prick. You're allowed to hit me, I wouldn't mind because I deserve it._

_God, I really hope you'll find someone who loves you more than I did. If there's anyone who deserves it, it's you. I'm sorry again Mingyu. I hope we're friends._

_Wonwoo._

Mingyu cries. And the words on the letter are warped by his tears. He clutches his chest because it hurts. It hurts worse than when he twisted his ankle on the rollerboard when he was 12 years old; hurts more than when he lost his grandmother a few years back.

It hurts like this: With Wonwoo telling Mingyu he loves him the first time during spring when they danced and kissed and laughed too loud within the array of fallen wild leaves, to Wonwoo saying goodbye in a discreet note, signing off quietly and leaving Mingyu on an empty, cold bed.


End file.
